So, now having slept a little on the subject, I have some degree of clarity and perspective and I still feel the need to vent, enjoy. FF need not apply you already feel my pain! As you may have seen, red bike needs a bit of tlc, as it is now (sad face) coming up to 20k and I'm guessing two winters commuting and general abuse in wet lands abroad, it needs stripping down and building back up. Sadly my garage lighting isn't up to all nighters, the 20W bulbs we're all forced to install just throws enough light in the space to allow you vague acknowledgement that it contains 5 bikes. Only a fool would start to do any undoing of any fairing bolts for further investigations for fear of not finishing in time for sundown, and garage door down. So first job of many, fit strip lights, cheap strip lights will do. Well know diy store could potentially provide same. You know the sort, make your brain/eyes ache from the pulse of halogen etc. Off I pop, walk into store, all looks promising. Get to aisle where I knew lights were kept, noted from previous reccy, price, etc. Entire stock been up-sexed to Sylvanian (thought this was some sort of child's play item), German make, strip lighting twice the price, well not even twice, £69.99 was the first numbers my poor little spectacles spotted. Erm NO! Don't think so, it's a garage. So I stand there wondering what to do, and then think I'll go on tinternet and price match with their web page. Bingo, Sylvanian 36w 4ft(1227cm) T8 bulb etc. Two for £25. Tidy. Have some of that, please. So I approach the very lovely Dani on the desk, she's got an ear piece and microphone set, she's wearing black (according to Huxley this means Epsilons, oh dear), pretty though, so I approach with forced charm and ask if she has code 118087 in stock, she says she'll ask. There is some sort of silent over mouthpiece headset asking goings on, then spotty lanky streak of piss chewing a safety pin arrives, grunts and shuffles off back. He's a while, I'm guessing he's gone on a tab break. Returns with one Sylvanian T8 as above, doesn't talk, plonks on desk scans comes up as £24.99. Hmmmm, starting to feel unsettled. Doesn't seem like it's so straight forward. So far this has taken 30 minutes. Dani's serving some other customers. Lanky fella walks straight past me again off yonder, I place my entire upper body on the desk next to my maybe new strobe light and close my eyes. Another 5 mins later comes back with second Sylvanian etc. Scans 2nd one, same price, well there's a surprise, same f product?? He walks off to serve some equally empty souls. Refuses to acknowledge me or make eye contact. Dani slopes back, says they're £24.99 each. I say, well on the webpage here, on my up-to-date phone, they say 2 for £25, so if it's alright with you, I'll buy them for that?? Shall I, can you do that? Dani, feeling awkward says she can't. I'm getting testy, but realise it's not dani's fault so say calmly maybe if I do click and collect then I can stand here and collect them, as they are here in front of me, and save me going home without them. She doesn't get my irony. She says I can do that, but she'll still have to sell them for the scannable price on their tills. So I suggest that Dani calls the manager over so I can talk this through without upsetting her. I reassure her it's not her fault. No word of a lie, she comes back with, "I don't think the manager will come over here for THAT." I say, is that because the manager is a f lazy cow with all the grace of a bowl of "been out the night before" vomit? No, I think it, I don't say that cos I'm British, what I say is can you find someone who would be prepared to talk to me then, I'm not cross with you Dani, it's the system I'm finding it hard to work within. She looks sheepish, some other customers feel for her having to deal with the horrid grumpy bitch trying to buy something. I tell a man next to me that I do not have enough time in my life to cope this nonsense, and I die a little bit every time I hear that I have to keep my child outside the cordoned off area because there may or may not be operatives using f forklift trucks in the vicinity. I wish I'd brought my headphones in from the car, but now I'm scared to leave sight of my lights case they hide them. Now we're into 45 or so plus minutes. Now arrives Rich, looking like someone who I can do business with. He says, what's the problem? I relate the problem. He's says you'll have to buy them at £24.99 cos that's what they are scanning as. I say do me a favour bud, only a twat would pay £50 when they could get it on click and collect for £25. To which he then said, well buy it on click and collect then. For a fraction of a minute I thought some SOH had returned to the interaction. I'm not so good at reading people's expressions, but definitely there was no smile, so I realised he was not taking the piss. A bit of banter ensued from me, and he unresponsively repeated that I should buy it over the Internet. Wait for them to get the order and he would see if he had them in stock. WTAF???? And what's more irritating is I did it. Paid and then waited. After I'd got my text, I asked Dani, how long it took for the order to come through on her system. I have now been just over hour in the shop. She accesses the page prints my order off and takes it out back. Matey comes back with wickes own light T8 £14.99, and says we've only got one left. No word of a lie, different package, different description, and everything. I say I have paid for two, and show him the product code and details as above which March the lights I'm eyeing up on the counter, he says he knows, I desperately want to f punch the twat, even tho I realise this may soil my bargaining technique! I say I want the two I've paid for these two and now waited nearly 1.15 hrs for, he says, well I can refund you the money off click and collect and then sell you the two lights here for £25. I smile and say, well if it's not too much trouble, can you do that? Are you sure? He says yes. I can't believe I'm then thanking him, he needs to get a job in the tax office he's such a charmer. (Apologies to all you nice people at tax offices country wide, maybe I should have said traffic wardens). It takes another 10 or so minutes for him to complete the transaction. I leave with a sense of utter devastation mixed with a hint of success and relief, I'm exhausted it took nearly 1.30 hrs. So together with the travel to and from shop, it took 2 hrs to buy the lights and 2 hrs roughly to fit them, and that's f about with spurring off the main light circuit and cutting the wood to attach the lights on to, and fannying around pinning wires along beams and wrapping bare wires with insulation tape etc. and everything. Still, it's bright as day now 24/7, in my garage and I can get down to the jobs needed on the bike. So it's not what I did to my bike today, but what I did to the garage around it. After all that who's the winner now wickes, you utter utter xxxxxxs. From now on it's gonna be BNQ all the way, no if's no butts shove it right up there. Oulton park qualifying is calling...toodle. Rant over.