Van Drivers

I HATE van drivers...they are all shite at it. They drive around thinking they are in sports cars with sports car handling, but they are in a mobile sight screen, sitting on van tyres, with van brakes and with van handling. They just don't realise it.

Do us all a favour and stick to building walls, fitting taps, planing wood or whatever it is you are good at - and leave the driving to people with more than five brain cells.

It was very satisfying to be able to kill the hand held phone the dick head van driver was using alongside me today in slow moving traffic with my cell phone jammer - the thick twat just looked at the display and couldn't figure it out .....

 

Woo woo woo lol it's not all van drivers, remember you get all kinds in and on any vehicle but I hear what your saying I hate van couriers now they think their in a bloody sports car

 

My van handbrakes better than any car

 

You have a cell phone jammer - why?

 

thats a very general statement, thats just like saying that all insignia drivers are brain dead wankers. :toss: ..oh, hang on a minute ...they ARE all brain dead wankers

AND WHERE CAN I GET A CELL PHONE JAMMER

 

My van's half van, half sports car....

 

Does this van driver description apply to me when I'm driving my Mercedes Vito, that is purely a trackday-transport device.?

Portable mobile phone jammer, is that directable.?

 

My van rocks so fuck off!

 

"rocks", as in rocks right over when you try to chuck it round a corner.??

 

Presumably to piss off van drivers with hand held phones

 

My vans been pimp 17inch wheels lowered 60mm all round remapped and goes like stink going to do more to it until I have 200hp 6 speed box and yes I do drive like I nicked it

 

Should of called it the Vauxhall DLA!

 

Vans are cool, I drove one for years, and yes I drove like shit - turn the window-washers sideways and squirt old feckers wandering down the high street to collect their pensions, or do massive handbrake turns in the snow...and then wonder why the thing won't stop as you're sliding down the street sideways with someone's new wardrobe banging around in the back...."Frickin' STOPPPPP!!"

Happy days.

 

Can I just point out a few things I’ve noticed - by the way this wasn’t started by me (Red675)

1) There’s far too many of them. The m25 in the morning should be re-named the wvm25.
2) Theyre one of THE WORST for sitting there on their phones.
3) They don’t seem to get upset when you leave a size 8 footprint in the side of their van, which is a great shame.
4) Theyre one of the worst for chucking stuff out their windows.


Quite happily see them all impounded and never seen on our roads again.

 

I have driven over a million miles in vans over my working lifetime and have seen some shocking driving from other van drivers. Not often I'd say this, but a few more coppers in plain cars/vans to actually enforce the laws in place to stop these wankers might actually be a good thing. Oh and if it stops the the half brain cell tartlets in their f*cking Ka's, Fiesta's etc jabbering on the phones, putting on make-up and being generally vacuous I'm all for it.

P.S. for the benefit of the OP, van brakes are way better than most cars, the suspension is stiffer and tyres are probably better too, due to stiffer sidewalks for load rating. You're just jealous and you really want a van.

 

My van says "Sport" on the back so must be able to be driven in a sporty manner

 

I have Mercedes Vito envy. I think they look so damn cool. I don't have one, but if I wanted a van then that's what I'd get.

 

I can possibly cure that mate.
Have a listen to Stmarks Vito when he first got it .

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxEgqy-1T54[/youtube]

 

Don't worry about that - its just the hamsters wheel, it got a pumpkin seed jammed in it.

 

Actually it was piston slap.
I took the engine out, new piston & conrod, honed the barrel, rebuilt the engine & replaced.
Now she runs like a dream.
StM.